Kelly DuMar

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all the way to the waterfall - and back - My Monthly Newsletter

"This is your dance, your sibling dance

of competition, confrontation,

and negotiation."

We've just returned from an annual family vacation where I took this picture of my three twenty-something children a few nights ago, playing a game. You can't see what's truly remarkable about this photo: the rifts in relationship that preceded this untroubled, unified vacation with sibling harmony and happiness. I took this picture because I'm grateful, and relieved - because I'm a sibling who has survived decades of conflicts and rivalries with two sisters and two brothers, to age together, still close, still unified, still there for each other, still bonded by love. 

In my 2001 book, Before You Forget - The Wisdom of Writing Diaries for Your Children, I have a chapter on writing diary stories about sibling rivalry - Chapter Ten: Conflict as Quest. I'm glad I wrote this sibling rivalry story about taking Landon and Perri, ages 8 and 3, on a quest through conflict - a hike to a waterfall in Vermont. I'm grateful for their dance, especially when it's toward each other. . . 

You can read the entire essay here and check out all my upcoming events!

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